I am not just anybodys friend!

No, don´t get me wrong.

I am quite friendly, trying to see good in everybody and willing to help people. I think I am easy to cooperate with. It is not hard for me to share whatever I have, knowledge, money, food, housing to people that I hardly know. I am open, open minded and optimistic.

But, I don´t have many friends. I don´t give my friendship to just anybody. There is maybe a handful of people, to whom I am saying that I am their friend.

To me - friendship is more valuable than romantic love.

When I am single, I often fall in love, it doesn´t take much.
A nice smile, an attractive face or body, a funny or charming way.

But, then I realise the futility of that.

I am not an easy person to love, and I am not that attractive, so it is probably even harder to fall in love with me. So the odds of meeting someone that I could love are low. And for them to fall in love with me are very small.

Though, but that is life. It has happened a few times, and hopefully it will again.

But for someone to earn my friendship, it is something much more fundamental than that.

These few are people that I admire, that has shown their friendship to me and that has been there when I needed them. Or, maybe they did me some big service. Maybe they never realised how big. It varies. Some of them used to be girlfriends. Some I have actually never met.

To have my friendship, means that I will be there, for the rest of my life.

If they need me - I will stop at nothing to help them.
If they want to talk, I am there to listen.
I will try to give advice - if that is what they need.

If they need a shoulder to cry on - I will be there.
If they want to joke around and have someone who understand their jokes, I will try.
Sometimes I will be saying things that they need to hear.

And I will not ever expect anything in return.

No gratitude, no reward.

Maybe this is stupid of me?
Maybe friendship doesn´t mean that to other people?
Maybe it is just another one of these empty phrases - that used to mean something, but not anymore? Another fad.

Maybe it is just something people say to make others help them? To trick stupid buggers like me?

Well, I don´t give my friendship expecting to get something back.

So what, if I will be used, abused and forgotten when someone more interesting comes along?

That is life too.