Honorable

I try to be honorable. Even if it seems to be oldfashioned.

Today you are supposed to be smart, clever, take the chance, see the opportunities when they come, seize the day by its neck and shake it until it have yielded everything you can get out of it.
If someone is in trouble, or is in a weak position, you are supposed to see what advantages you can get out of it. If someone comes to you for help, they have to pay for it.

Well, I refuse.

I try to live by the standards that I set for myself. If that makes me stupid, easy to fool and someone for the "smart" people to look down on, so be it. I have to live with myself.

At the same time there are a lot of bad press about the muslim and mideastern cultures, where honor is claimed to be held hight. There are horror stories about father killing their daughters because they feel that their honor is being tarnished if she has kissed a boy or had sex outside the marriage.

These things happens, I know that.

But I don´t think honor has anything to do with it. Possibly false pride. I think that it is only crazy, weak people that can even contemplate hurting their children. I think that they behave dishonorable.

I have this definition of honor, you may have another:

• Loyality
• Honesty
• Responsability
• Integrity
• Pride
• Compassion

Loyalty:

To be there for your friends. To stand by your group, protect and defend them.

Maybe this is something I have too much of. I let sometimes people abuse me, I remain working at companies that don´t deserve my loyalty. I stay in relationships even if I don´t get anything out of it. I stay as long as someone need me. More often than not, when their need is gone, they let me go, they disgard me without concern about my feelings or my needs.

But I cannot be anything else. If I give my word to help or protect, I will do so, no matter what it will cost me. Otherwise I would always feel guilty.

Honesty:
To say the truth when a friend ask for it. To stand for what I have done, even if I could get away with blaming others, even if I would have to work extra hours to fix something that nobody would even think was my fault. To return money that someone gave me by mistake. I have joked sometimes, saying that I am too lazy to lie. I would never remember the story and so I would be caught right away. This is not true, of course. I think I would be an excellent liar, if I wasn´t cursed with this honesty. As it is now, I am not able to. I give it away at once, because if I lie - I feel uncomfortable, I behave weirdly - and so - I am caught.

But, of course, I do lie. About small things. Did I post that letter? Yes, sure, well - not really, I am going to. (And I will!) But not about things that matter.

Responsability:
To act like an adult. To do what is expected, to do what is promised. To protect those under your care, to make sure that those that depend upon you are safe.

Integrity:
To be true to yourself. Don´t let flatter, bribes or promises make you compromise with your honor. The grass may be greener on the other side, but it is on this side that you are. Don´t cheat, lie or compromise your honor.

Pride:
Yes, I am proud of being a whiteskinned North European Scandinavian middleaged man with blond hair.

I am happy that I am living here, and I do think our society is among the best - so far - in the world.

Does that make me want to look down on others? No, of course not. Everybody should be proud of what they are, and where they come from. Not blindly accepting everything, not being arrogant, but still - feel pride in yourself.

Compassion:
Last, but not least important, component in true honor - is the ability to feel for others. To be able to put yourself in the other persons situation, empathy and sympathy. To understand that others may not have had the same chances that you had. That they had to do what they have done. Don´t judge.

This is what honor is for me.

It may be different for you.