The Envy of Friends Successes
This I seriously cannot understand.
When a friend of mine is succeeding in something, getting a better job or finding love, I only feel joy. I am happy for my friend, and hope that he or she will make it.
But, this is obviously not so for everybody. I see the green light of envy and jealousy is flickering in the eyes of people that I know are normaly very good and gentle people, people that I would not hesitate one second to count among my best friends.
In Scandinavia there is even a name for it - the Law of Jante, which actually comes from a book by Aksel Sandemose where it is defined as:
"This is Jante: each little soul's struggle for coequality and recognition, never without consciousness that all the others are greater than he."
http://www.waste.org/~xtal/red/jante.html
I have experienced this twice now. First when I was selected as a moderator on the Swedish Flashback. Second when I now have perhaps a chance of loving someone, after a very long time being alone. Yes, teasing, making fun of me and joking - that is ok. I welcome that. But somehow, there is also resentment, fear maybe of me leaving and perhaps jealosy.
I don´t understand it. And I don´t like it. But, I guess it is human, and since these are my friends, I forgive it.
Labels:
Unloading demons
4 comments:
Morrisey: we hate it when our friends become successful...Says it all!
Do never feel jealousy for someone...
You don´t know about his sorrows...
My dear Ruskigbuss, I don’t think this is matter of the “law of Jante”
It’s more about fear, certain people getting scared when something unexpected happens in their “small world”.
Many people with lack of self confidence find their ways to Internet forums. No doubt about that. A forum offers the possibility to design your own character. A forum also offers possibilities to create, handle and control the “small world” that people of this kind so often want to live in, contrasting to the Scary Creepy Real World. And when they find that they in one way or another maybe are losing control of the “small world” they sometimes come up with some “qualities” you weren’t aware of until then. In my humble opinion….this is what happened in this case.
I’m really disappointed for some of the response you got when you told the news about your new relationship. Some of the comments were even disgusting.
There’s a huge difference between people living in “small worlds” and real broadminded people like you (and me…and some others) daring to live in the Scary Creepy Real World. And enjoying it.
I feel you man... :(
It sucks, but this is nature of
human beeing. But to be honest
I would estimate that for every
one or two jelaous people, there
is one wishing you the best of luck.
So why do we focus on the negative? I don´t have the answer
to that one, I guess it buried deep within our genetics...
Try to keep up the positive side and don´t let them get the best of u ;)
/GoogleOogel@flashback.info
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